Friday, March 12, 2004


I'm 34. I've not had a terribly succsessful life but I've gotten things on track. I have, however taken smug comfort in the fact that I've gotten out of debt, and despite last years injury I'm still in the USCG reserve have a job and am attending school.

It just took me 14 years to get my life to where I wanted to be at age 20....

Last year I lost 5 relatives, All children of the Depression, the 4 men veterans of WW2, all were were born with nothing, served their country, and went on to succsessful lives.

A few months ago my boarding team was boarding a vessel in storm tossed waters off the Carolina Coast, but for my knee injury, I would have been on that launch. As they pulled aside the USS Firebolt, a malfunction in a winch threw them all into the Atlantic...two sailors never came out alive.

Shortly before that , a 20 year old member of my unit suffered a blowout on the way to the tire store . He still has trouble dressing himself, he was a few months from getting out and pursuing his dream of becoming a mechanic.

Last night the death toll in the Spanish bombing reached 199, one of whom was a little girl...she didn't get a second chance or 14 years....or 34 to screw up and then fix her life. She'll never kiss a boy, go to school, fall in love achieve anything....because she didn't have time. Selfish evil men so filled with bitterness they see the killing of little girls as just and glorious robbed her of all the potential a human life has.

I've been given more than any of these people, in health and time and I haven't used it very well. By sheer providence I avoided being medically put out of the reserves in January because of my knee....yet another chance. I don't often feel small....but I do today....however I will not mope, I will not give up no matter how badly my knee hurts I will not fail, I will succeed I will strive to see Japan, Belize, The Galapogos and the other places I want to go. If given the opportunity by the USCG, I will thwart the efforts of those selfish evil men, or die in the attempt....and I will not screw up again.....cause other people need those chances.

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