Friday, December 10, 2004

Adventures in Driving, Computer Follies and Disease....

A trip to the restroom at work the other day resulted in a dismaying vision of entirely too much blood.

After work a trip to the doctors was in order. By this time I was sneezing blood as well.

HOURS of poking prodding and the unspeakable evil known as the catheter resulted in a doctor walking in, sitting down and telling me "It's your prostate" followed by a long awkward silence.

My heart sank. I realized that if I has the P-Cancer and blood was involved already, it had metastesised and I was on my last legs. After an awkward silence I asked how long I had. The doctor said 3 months (!).......He then realized that we were having 2 different conversations....It seems I don't have cancer, just an infection, which likely came from an associated kidney infection. The nosebleed was just a nosebleed (dry air and a slight cold). I'll be on meds for 3 months. Then I'll be cured, not dead.

Shortly thereafter I came down with the flu.....Rats.

Sunday, as I recovered, I borrowed my grandmother's van to put gas in it and get some stuff to work on my car. I shortly thereafter, discovered to my considerable chagrin that the gas gauge on the van is inaccurate to say the least. (1/4 tank = empty) On the up side....I was within sight of a gas station at the end of an exit off the highway, it was a pretty straight shot to the station so I pushed.....on the down side, I hit a pothole & lost control of the van.....which ended up in a ditch....full of grandmothers van....WTF!!!!, I'm 34 and having a teenagers nightmare!

On the upside I was near the aforementioned gas station and the rear wheels were on solid ground....on the downside the gas station sold no gas tanks. I had to hike 5 miles to a 7-11 to buy a 1 gallon tank. I then shuttled between van and gas station.

On the upside, after 3 hours of this a State Trooper arrived to give me a breath test and call a wrecker......on the downside said wrecker would not accept a credit card but would happily put the van (not MY van) in impound....for 300 dollars. I refused this and finally got hold of my little brother who came to tow me out. On the downside he did not bring his big truck (having missed the important point about this being the VAN and not my metro) . On the upside, we extricated the van with little trouble....on the downside I now most deal with the ignominy of having my little brother rescue me. This is all backwards.....

Finally, the crucial ONOFF switch on my computer broke.....hence my only being able to blog from a cybercafe.

Aside from that.....and working at UPS during December, things are going swimmingly. :)

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